careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
