Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
