I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
