I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
