i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
