why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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