What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize