Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
