I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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