You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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