Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
