i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize