sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
