Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
