you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
