did you get engaged???
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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