I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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