unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize