Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
