remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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