my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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