is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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