Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
