shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
