I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
high people should be assigned attendants
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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