I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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