I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize