whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
