I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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