a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
