WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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