My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
