Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
