First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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