I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
