You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You're like the curious george of whores
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
