Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
