so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
