Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize