Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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