Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
well most of my day revolves around power hour
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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