I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
