I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
