So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
