so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
