She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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