After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
