how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
