I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
