Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
