I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
