so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
