don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
