and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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