i permit you to call me
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
