I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
