I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
