well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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