Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
