no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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