Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can text with my tongue
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
