been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
