check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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