I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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