Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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