Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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