Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
