i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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