What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
