I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
