my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Bring me that man meat
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
