I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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