the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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