Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
