They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
