Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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