Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
